madness

I am loathe to put this in writing because it really escalates the commitment, but its already gone too far. I have talked my sisters (all 3 of them) into taking a weekend with me and doing the Orange County Marathon/half marathon. See, I have had this goal of doing a marathon before I turn 40. Well, the local Rock n Roll marathon just happened and several people I know did it. And, I turn 39 in a couple months, which means that the clock is ticking on my goal. And the pressure is mounting. I've had this goal for so long and as the years have passed it has weighed more heavily on my mind. I might have done it sooner were it not for my knee injury, as I was in half marathon shape when that happened. But regardless, time has passed and here I am. And I just can't sit around waiting for August to start training for a January marathon. Too much pressure. I need to get it over and done. So now I've committed to doing it on May 3. Already paid up. Already paid for the hotel. Already got 3 others in on my schemes and plans. No backing out now.

I'm really excited for the weekend, we've never done anything like this before. Its our first "sista weekend." And its cool that there will be months of build up and preparation for all of us.

Anyway, so tonight I ran 6 whole miles without stopping!! I'm in better shape than I thought. I've been running 3.5 miles fairly regularlly for the last several months, so this is good. I did 6 miles in about 78 minutes, so it was a little over a 13 minute mile. My goal is to do it in 5 hours, so some work to do there. Actually, my goal is to just finish the damn thing and have it over!!!

his boyness

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I cherish J's "boyness". His high pitched boy voice. His knobby often bruised knees. His lopsided smirk and smiling eyes. The splash of freckles across his nose. His insistence on being in the same room as I am, regardless of what I'm doing (I'm watching TV, he's shooting the dog with his Nerf guns or wrestling with his animals or jumping off my footboard with a plastic lid used as a skateboard). His carefully negotiated rights to sleep in my bed on weekends, holidays and "special occasions." The way he still comes into my room at 2 am. His unmatched and often dirty clothes. His yellow teeth. The remnants of food that can always be found on the corners of his mouth. The sheer joy he experiences jumping on the trampoline. The fearless way he hurls himself into the pool at all angles. The way he tosses back his head in laughter. The way he insists on riding his bike along with me when I go running, always negotiating a shorter route. His text to me from Kids Club saying "I'm in hell." The way he insists on pooping in my toilet and showering in my shower. His lack of self consciousness walking around naked after his morning shower. The way he sleeps with 20 stuffed animals piled onto his bed.

I'm sad, because my little J is almost 10 and I know his boyness is coming to an end. Soon his voice will change and he will begin locking his door when changing clothes (as his sister has done for over a year now). His boyish face will get pimples that he will be self-conscious of. He'll begin styling his mop of hair and demanding to have it cut. He'll brush his teeth of his own accord. He'll stop hugging me in public, and be horrified at the thought of sleeping in my bed.

I think I'm particularly sensitive to it because it feels like I turned around and my darling sweet little girl had disappeared into a beautiful tall slender fashion conscious short skirt wearing texting maniac who has precious little time for mom. I still adore her and much of the time she still likes me, which is good news. But it hurts a little that she's so grown up and I miss my baby girl. I just want to enjoy them while I still have them.

J will always be my little man. I think I will always have a tender spot in his heart. And today he's still my little boy. I just kissed him goodnight and he said "see you at 1."

hee hee

HR Mom

So I think my kids are going to be scarred by the fact that theiy were raised by an HR professional. When they grow up, this will be the thing that they hold the most resentment about, that they were treated like employees.

Case in point:

My 12 yr old K has been exercising some relatively poor judgment in use of her cel phone and conversations with boys and lack of disclosure with me, all of which I discovered after a thorough investigation. So I had to put the hammer down. I put usage controls in place, I had discussion with said boy's parents, and then we had a lengthy talk about "expectations" for which I had prepared talking points, and we came to some "agreements" on future conduct. I thought about writing them down and having her sign her agreement and acknowledgement of consequences for failure to comply, but I thought that might be overkill.

Then today I reviewed 9 yr old J's report card with him. Interestingly enough, his first comment was, "I know, I'm not happy with it either." So we discussed each grade and the actions he could take to improve it this quarter. I had him sit down and write out his action plan and we both signed and dated it, and I hung it on the refrigerator. I then wrote a note to his teacher about our action plan, and I had him sign the report card alongside my signature.

I'm not saying these techniques will prove effective. I'm just sayin I fall back on what I know. And, sometimes these techniques prove effective with employees. I would hate to think what I'll do if I reach a termination decision though. Hmm.