So Good

"Earlier in the day, while killing some hours by circling in blue ball-point ink every uppercase M in the front section of a month-old New York Times, Chip had concluded that he was behaving like a depressed person. Now, as his telephone began to ring, it occurred to him that a depressed person ought to continue staring at the TV and ignore the ringing - ought to light another cigarette and, with no trace of emotional affect, watch another cartoon while his machine took whoever's message.

That his impulse, instead, was to jump to his feet and answer the phone - that he could so casually betray the arduous wasting of a day - cast doubt on the authenticity of his suffering . He felt as if he lacked the ability to lose all volition and connection with reality the way depressed people did in books and movies. It seemed to him, as he silenced the TV and hurried into his kitchen, that he was failing even at the miserable task of falling properly apart."

- The Corrections, by Jonathan Franzen

Anyone who hasn't read this book absolutely needs to. Its freakin intelligent, witty and hilarious, and a very entertaining read. I feel like I need to quote from almost every page.

Growing Old Gracefully . . . or Not

Here are the reasons I judge people who have plastic surgery:

• It seems very superficial
• I think its important to be happy with what you're given, to honor and respect the body Goddess gave you
• It is often done to impress other people
• It is done to attract attention to oneself, to show off for girls and get guys

Here are the reasons I want to get plastic surgery:

• I am a physically fit person, always have been. But the older I get, the bigger this tire around my waist gets. Regardless of how I exercise or eat, it stays the same. No, it gets worse. The skin sags, the muscles sag. My belly is a fleshy mess that no amount of diet or exercise will fix.
• I don't consider myself vain, but I want to look good dammit!! Part of the satisfaction of working out is looking good, keeping a youthful figure. And as a result, feeling confident in the way I look. I'm losing that.
• My clothes don't fit me well anymore. I enjoy wearing fashionable clothes and jeans, but I always have this roll of skin lapping over my pants. Its unsightly. It makes me feel ugly. I constantly have to camouflage it. In dresses its this unsightly lump that makes me look pregnant.
• I think I have a lot of years left of looking/feeling good physically, except for this issue. I think I would be very happy if it were corrected.

So, there it is. I struggle with wanting to do something that I generally consider superficial. But, I've also always said if I had a big nose I likely wouldn't hesitate to "fix" it. I also wonder if its disrespecting my body, or demanding too much of my body. Its given me two beautiful children, not to mention many races and awesome physical experiences. Its done me well. But, what's wrong with wanting to "correct" the damage of childbearing?