his boyness

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I cherish J's "boyness". His high pitched boy voice. His knobby often bruised knees. His lopsided smirk and smiling eyes. The splash of freckles across his nose. His insistence on being in the same room as I am, regardless of what I'm doing (I'm watching TV, he's shooting the dog with his Nerf guns or wrestling with his animals or jumping off my footboard with a plastic lid used as a skateboard). His carefully negotiated rights to sleep in my bed on weekends, holidays and "special occasions." The way he still comes into my room at 2 am. His unmatched and often dirty clothes. His yellow teeth. The remnants of food that can always be found on the corners of his mouth. The sheer joy he experiences jumping on the trampoline. The fearless way he hurls himself into the pool at all angles. The way he tosses back his head in laughter. The way he insists on riding his bike along with me when I go running, always negotiating a shorter route. His text to me from Kids Club saying "I'm in hell." The way he insists on pooping in my toilet and showering in my shower. His lack of self consciousness walking around naked after his morning shower. The way he sleeps with 20 stuffed animals piled onto his bed.

I'm sad, because my little J is almost 10 and I know his boyness is coming to an end. Soon his voice will change and he will begin locking his door when changing clothes (as his sister has done for over a year now). His boyish face will get pimples that he will be self-conscious of. He'll begin styling his mop of hair and demanding to have it cut. He'll brush his teeth of his own accord. He'll stop hugging me in public, and be horrified at the thought of sleeping in my bed.

I think I'm particularly sensitive to it because it feels like I turned around and my darling sweet little girl had disappeared into a beautiful tall slender fashion conscious short skirt wearing texting maniac who has precious little time for mom. I still adore her and much of the time she still likes me, which is good news. But it hurts a little that she's so grown up and I miss my baby girl. I just want to enjoy them while I still have them.

J will always be my little man. I think I will always have a tender spot in his heart. And today he's still my little boy. I just kissed him goodnight and he said "see you at 1."

hee hee

HR Mom

So I think my kids are going to be scarred by the fact that theiy were raised by an HR professional. When they grow up, this will be the thing that they hold the most resentment about, that they were treated like employees.

Case in point:

My 12 yr old K has been exercising some relatively poor judgment in use of her cel phone and conversations with boys and lack of disclosure with me, all of which I discovered after a thorough investigation. So I had to put the hammer down. I put usage controls in place, I had discussion with said boy's parents, and then we had a lengthy talk about "expectations" for which I had prepared talking points, and we came to some "agreements" on future conduct. I thought about writing them down and having her sign her agreement and acknowledgement of consequences for failure to comply, but I thought that might be overkill.

Then today I reviewed 9 yr old J's report card with him. Interestingly enough, his first comment was, "I know, I'm not happy with it either." So we discussed each grade and the actions he could take to improve it this quarter. I had him sit down and write out his action plan and we both signed and dated it, and I hung it on the refrigerator. I then wrote a note to his teacher about our action plan, and I had him sign the report card alongside my signature.

I'm not saying these techniques will prove effective. I'm just sayin I fall back on what I know. And, sometimes these techniques prove effective with employees. I would hate to think what I'll do if I reach a termination decision though. Hmm.

Naked Norseman shows his Longship (Viking Trouser Malfunction)

Ok so I don't know why I find this so hilarious, but its all over the internet now. Probably because I just happened to catch the event live on TV. And I love that headline, which I stole from Bob's Blitz (http://njfrogman.blogspot.com/).

Mysteriously the youtube video I linked to yesterday was taken down. Part of the vast right wing patriarchal conspiracy I think. So, here's the picture. And check out baldy, whaddya think he's looking at? Meanwhile the guy holding the football is giving a poignant speech dedicating the game ball to the coach's son who is joining the armed forces on Monday. The funniest part is that when said naked guy was interviewed he said something to the effect of "its not so bad, at least there was no shrinkage."














And here's the video.

And here's a particularly funny write up which echoes my own sentiment for your enjoyment.

Fox Television Cameraman Fails in the Worst Way Possible, Show Some Vikings Junk on TV Posted Dec 7th 2008 7:38PM by Will Brinson (author feed)Filed under: Lions, Vikings, NFL Media Watch It's commonly understood that in locker rooms of professional athletic teams, there are, very often, naked men. That's because they change there; it's no surprise. So, when you're a cameraman for FOX and you head into the locker room on a live feed to listen to the owner Zygi Wilf give the Minnesota Vikings an inspirational speech about Brad Childress' son leaving for the military, do yourself a favor: look around, scan the room, and if any players are not wrapped in towels or have their junk hanging out in any manner, don't turn the camera on. This is not what you would call "good news" for the boys at Fox, and you have to imagine that if CBS is going to get attacked for showing some sideboob in the middle of the Super Bowl, there will be repeated mention of the, um, sidejunk. Which I think is an okay thing to say. Hopefully.

Penis Shot on Fox

So by some odd coincidence I walked into my living room this afternoon just as Fox was cutting to a locker room shot with the Minnesota Vikings. And I swear to God I saw a penis. In disbelief, I rewound the shot in slowmo a couple times and yes, lo and behold, there was a penis! And a big one at that. So I spent awhile tonight trying to find some news on it and it hasn't been mentioned by any media that I could find. I don't understand! This is worse than the Janet Jackson boob shot I think, although it was very brief. I swear I saw it the first time it played.

Anyway, I finally found it on youtube and just so's you don't think I'm lyin, I've pasted the link below: (notice how he has to pan down to get the whole thing in the shot)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNG3uzV5vHI

basghetti

j: what's for dinner?
me: spaghetti
j: wait . . . you know how to make that?

I don't know what took me so long in life to figure out this easiest of meals that my kids love. I guess mainly its because I hate spaghetti and always have, so its not something I'd make for myself or eat under any circumstances.

But, in my ongoing and constantly failed/renewed quest to provide healthy family dinners for me and the kidlets, I bought some spaghetti noodles and ragu sauce at the grocery store this weekend. And it was such a hit, J was actually making grunting eating noises as he shoved it in his face so fast he must have thought it would disappear. And going on about how great the sauce was! Seriously, I boiled noodles for 9 minutes then dumped some sauce right out of the jar, and I'm a freakin gourmet. I've earned a new respect in my kids' eyes.

Who knew?

Everybody's an Expert

I have to admit that for the first time in my life I've become a political junkie. I am addicted to CNN. I love Anderson Cooper in his tight black t-shirt standing in flood waters up to his waist. Is he gay? God I hope not.

Anyway, on Larry King tonight the panel consisted of Charles Barkley and Ben Stein. Wait. What's that, you say? Charles Barkley and Ben Stein?? Really???

So Charles was asked by Larry what he thought of the economic plans proposed by Obama and McCain and he literally said something to the effect of "I don't know enough about either plan to say, but I believe what Ben Stein said. I'll let the economics people weigh in on that." Ok, so exactly what value was Charles there to bring? Don't get me wrong, I love CB when he's in bar fights or blasting his arrogant views, but he's just got no place on a political commentary show.

Coming Up Next . . .

. . . Bill Clinton makes his first appearance at the Democratic National Convention . . . analysis of today's events . . . Hillary Clinton addresses the convention . . . AND . . . Michelle Obama's dress - hit or miss?

Really? Did I really just hear that come out of Brian Williams' mouth in prime time on national television during the Democratic National Convention? Are we so freaking superficial and immature as a nation that we must dedicate prime time to analyzing Michelle Obama's wardrobe and fashion sense? Have you EVER, EVER heard comment made about ANY political man's attire? EVER?

I'm embarassed. Seriously.